Homers udødelige visdom

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  • Oh, so they have internet on computers now!
  • Marge, don’t discourage the boy! Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It’s what separates us from the animals! Except the weasel.
  • Son, when you participate in sporting events, it’s not whether you win or lose: it’s how drunk you get.
  • Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.
  • Lisa, if the Bible has taught us nothing else, and it hasn’t, it’s that girls should stick to girls sports, such as hot oil wrestling and foxy boxing and such and such.
  • Lisa, Vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and eskimos.
  • All my life I’ve had one dream, to achieve my many goals.
  • Beer: The cause of, and solution to, all of life’s problems.
  • I’m in no condition to drive…wait! I shouldn’t listen to myself, I’m drunk!
  • Facts are meaningless. You could use facts to prove anything that’s even remotely true!
  • When will I learn? The answer to life’s problems aren’t at the bottom of a bottle, they’re on TV!
  • Maybe, just once, someone will call me ‘Sir’ without adding, ‘You’re making a scene.
  • Just because I don’t care doesn’t mean I don’t understand.

homer02

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