Når verden bliver for kedelig, så er det rart at have lidt fantasi. En af de helt store mestre indenfor fantasiens anvendelse, var Douglas Adams, geniet bag bogen ”Hitchhikers guide to the Galaxy”. Adams har udover denne 4 binds trilogi også skrevet en mærkværdig ordbog med titlen ”The Meaning of Liff”.

Ord kan bruges til at beskrive det meste af vores eksistens, men der er stadig ting, eller situationer, som vi ikke har ord for. Det er lige netop her Mr. Adams sætter pennen til papiret. Hvad skulle man for eksempel kalde den kendte situation, hvor man kommer ud i køkkenet, og lige før man vil gøre det man gik der ud for, så glemmer man det fuldstændig. Douglas Adams kan oplyse, at det kaldes ”Woking”.

Selve ordet ”Liff” er beskrevet som ”En bog, hvis indhold er fuldstændig forløjet på forsiden. F.eks. en bog hvor forsiden fortæller, at denne bog vil ændre dit liv”. For en god ordens skyld, så er lige netop dette lovet på forsiden af ”The Meaning of Liff”.

Her skal vi se på et lille udpluk af Adam’s fantastiske ordforråd….resten kan findes her.

LAXOBIGGING (ptcpl.vb.) Struggling to extrude an extremely large turd.

SHOEBURYNESS (abs.n.) The vague uncomfortable feeling you get when sitting on a seat which is still warm from somebody else’s bottom.

KELLING (participial vb.) A person searching for something, who has reached the futile stage of re-looking i all the places they have looked once already, is said to be kelling.

PELUTHO (n.) A South American ball game. The balls are whacked against a brick wall with a stout wooden bat until the prisoner confesses.

KENTUCKY (adv.) Fitting exactly and satisfyingly. The cardboard box that slides neatly into an exact space in a garage, or the last book which exactly fills a bookshelf, is said to fit ‘real nice and kentucky’.

QUENBY (n.) A stubborn spot on a window which you spend twenty minutes trying to clean off before discovering it’s on the other side of the glass.

CORRIEMUCHLOCH (n.) Word describing the kind of person who can make a complete mess of a simple job like walking down a corridor.

ELY (n.) The first, tiniest inkling you get that something, somewhere, has gone terribly wrong.

EMSWORTH (n.) Measure of time and noiselessness defined as the moment between the doors of a lift closing and it beginning to move.

GALLIPOLI (adj.) Of the behaviour of a bottom lip trying to spit mouthwash after an injection at the dentist. Hence, loose, floppy, useless. ‘She went suddenly Gallipoli in his arms’ – Noel Coward.

HODNET (n.) The wooden safety platform supported by scaffolding round a building under construction from which the builders (at almost no personal risk) can drop pieces of cement on passers-by.

FROLESWORTH (n.) Measure. The minimum time it is necessary to spend frowning in deep concentration at each picture in an art gallery in order that everyone else doesn’t think you’ve a complete moron.

HOVE (adj.) Descriptive of the expression seen on the face of one person in the presence of another who clearly isn’t going to stop talking for a very long time.

MALIBU (n.) The height by which the top of a wave exceeds the height to which you have rolled up your trousers.

NYBSTER (n.) Sort of person who takes the lift to travel one floor.

OCKLE (n.) An electrical switch which appears to be off in both positions.

SCOSTHROP (vb.) To make vague opening or cutting movements with the hands when wandering about looking for a tin opener, scissors, etc. in the hope that this will help in some way.

UTTOXETER (n.) A small but immensely complex mechanical device which is essentially the ‘brain’ of a modern coffee vending machine, and which enables the machine to take its own decisions.

WHASSET (n.) A business card in you wallet belonging to someone whom you have no recollection of meeting.